EXPLAINING THE UNEXPLAINED ABSENCE

I'm not really sure exactly why it happened, this three week hiatus. It wasn't planned. It was full of mulling, pondering, debating and freedom... oh the freedom. I mentioned in my last post that I felt like I needed to "sort out my intentions for this blog". I've been trying to do just that, but to no avail. For most of the last three weeks, I was feeling pretty certain that I was done with the blogging world. At least from this side of it. But a couple of times I felt ready to give it one last go. It's hard to just let go of something that you've invested two years in, and to let reality replace the dream...

I can say that personal style blogging is no longer something I want to be so focused on, if participating in it at all anymore. I do love clothes and shopping and expressing myself through that outlet, but I think through blogging about it, it has impacted me in a kind of negative way. I started out with the best of intentions, using blogging as inspiration to keep at it and not get lazy with getting dressed as a stay-at-home-mom. But I quickly found myself putting together outfits that I didn't really want wear just to have something to share here. I would literally pile on 3-4 layers like I saw other fashion bloggers do, take photos and immediately shed half of it. I found that I was getting dressed many days "for the blog" rather than for myself. Over the last three weeks, I've been wearing what I want to wear and only what I want to wear. Even when that meant wearing the same shirt three times in a single week. I've really enjoyed wearing basic, if boring outfits a lot lately. But I also appreciate how blogging outfits pushed me to put together things in new ways and really think about what I was wearing. When I just throw on a cozy sweater, jeans and boots I feel comfy and it's easy, but it doesn't really inspire confidence or feel like much of a creative outlet. I think this is one of those times where finding a happy medium would be ideal, but I don't really need to blog to achieve that, do I? 

Another negative side effect? Money. There are only so many ways I can mix and match the things in my closet. There are certainly other people who would do better than me, but even they would have to run out of options eventually. So what's the fix for that? Add new things. Which means spending money. And spending money to add content to your blog is fine when you're getting some sort of compensation for it. But when you're not? Well, then you're just spending money. And that's not the way to early retirement my friends.

Where am I planning on going from here? I don't really know that either. Depends on what day you ask me. I know that I don't want to blog as a hobby. If I am going to commit the time and endure the stress and anxiety that sometimes goes along with blogging, I want people to actually read and care about and enjoy what I put out there and yeah, I want to be earning something. I just don't know how to make that happen or if what I'm putting out there is even worthy of compensation. 

Also, the blogging world is completely saturated. There is a blog for everyone already out there. Whatever your style is, your interests are or questions you have, there is a blog for you. And it already has a huge following, is easy to find and has copycat blogs riding on its coattails. Does that mean there's no room for more? No. But it does mean that it's going to be that much harder for newbies to make it, especially when they don't really have a niche. 

As much as I wish I had a unique angle, or vast knowledge about something to share, I just don't. I'm an average Jo. Jack of all trades, master of none. And I'm not saying that to be self-pitying, it's just a fact. A fact that's true of most people, and that's okay. Again, none of that means it's impossible for me to turn my blog into something that can help support me and my family, but after over a year of reading how-tos, watching webinars, hundreds of photos, editing and committing to doing whatever I could to make this little space grow, it's just not. At this point it seems obvious to me that something is going to have to change. Whether that change is content, scheduling, networking or moving on from this.... I don't know... I just don't know.