Today marks the first day of school for most kids and teachers around these parts, and I have to say it's feeling pretty bittersweet for me. I am officially starting my second {school} year staying home with Adelaide. Up until recently, I was feeling kind of out of love with being a teacher. The last few months of my last year teaching before staying home with Adelaide was rough. I was pretty miserable being away from her, and I let those feelings creep in and trump all the things I loved about teaching. I made the decision to stay home with a bad taste in my mouth for teaching. But after some separation and time to really reflect, I am able to see much more clearly that reason why I was so down for those last few months had nothing to do with being a teacher and was really all about becoming a mom.
This time last year I was nothing short of delirious to be home with my baby girl instead of starting off a new year in the classroom. This year? Not as much. I'm still where I believe I should be and I'm grateful to be here, but I'm missing teaching. A lot. Seeing all of the pictures being posted on Facebook of crisp, new classrooms and kids with their new teachers, the enthusiasm and excitement evident, is definitely having an effect on me. I am patently sad to not be a part of it. Luckily, getting to be a full-time mom is more rewarding for me right now and I'm just so glad to feel the desire to be back in the classroom. It may be a while before I'm back there, but it feels indescribably satisfying to know where I want to be when this chapter of my life comes to a close. After a year of feeling confused and lost so often, I finally feel like I have a clear path again and am looking forward to the coming months and years like I haven't in a long, long time.
