MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY

First thing in the morning has always been a good time for Adelaide. Even back when she was the crankiest of cranks 75% of the day, she almost always had a good (a.k.a. cry-free) half hour or so right after she woke up in the morning. We could've just come out of the worst night, and I could've been dreading the crying that I knew was inevitable with the coming day, but then I would walk into her room, open her swaddle and out her little arms would pop, a smile stretching across her face, and suddenly I was excited about what the day might hold. (hmm, run-on sentence there?)

These days, cranky times are few and far between. But I still think first thing in the morning is the time I most look forward to each day. Lately she's been waking up in this silly little mood. She likes rolling around with her toys and bouncing and bobbing while holding the rail, nothing but smiles on her face, making herself laugh. It's such a sweet and promising way to start the day.

I can't believe how far we've come from those desperate, I'll try anything to get her to stop crying, days. I'm having a hard time imagining how this could really get any better. But I've thought that before, and guess what? It keeps doing just that. This little girl has completely stolen my heart. And I couldn't be happier about it.

A self-portrait for my photography class. (Do you see what I see?)

This right here. This is the life. 

JUST US GIRLS (AND BOWSER)

Jordan left this past Wednesday for a dual-sport motorcycle riding trip with a few of his friends. They will be riding through Colorado and Utah for 10 days! Anyone interested can follow their progress here. Hard to believe that a few years ago it was me riding through canyons and deserts with him, story here. 

It's easy to look back on the pictures and wish I was there this time.

But really it's just a matter of which memories/pictures I choose to think about...

Walking the bike through miles (at least, that's what it felt like, and I don't think it's much of an exaggeration, if any) of sand in the blistering heat because I couldn't ride through it... maybe I'm glad he's got friends to do it with now. 

So, that just leaves me, Adelaide and Bowser here to hold down the fort. Looks like there might be some kiddie pool fun in our future. Yes, our future. It's waaaay to hot to sit on the sidelines watching her keep cool in the water. I'm thinking I might have to join her... good thing her pool isn't too tiny for the both of us, cause I might've had to kick her out if it were!

DECISION MADE

I posted recently about needing to make a big decision, and we finally made it. See, a couple of weeks ago Adelaide's amazing babysitter told me that they were thinking about selling their house to make a move to a town about 35 minutes away. Suddenly, we found ourselves wondering where we would take Adelaide when it was time for me to start the school year.

It's been no secret that juggling the duties of mom, wife and full-time teacher was very difficult for me. I never felt like I was giving as much as I believed I should to any of my roles. I constantly felt rushed and like I was behind or neglecting something or someone. I found myself wishing away precious time with Adelaide, because I was so exhausted that all I wanted was to put her to bed, so I could go to bed too.

Me staying home with Adelaide was something that we had considered and talked about on several occasions (me more than Jordan, of course), but with Adelaide's babysitter being so close to my school, very affordable and trustworthy, it was hard to justify leaving that situation and taking the cut in income. But, as things would have it, a couple of weeks ago, it suddenly made more sense. So, after more consideration, list-making and our sitter's house officially being put up for sale, we decided that I would stay home with Adelaide this year. 

I don't know yet if it will be just for this year, or until she's ready to start preschool, but right now I am not worried about figuring that out. I just want to enjoy getting to watch my sweet baby grow up every day, and do the very best job I can as a wife and mom.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME

I have hesitated to do "outfit" posts, because I worried that if I started posting pictures of myself and my clothes, that that would make me so completely narcissistic. Well, maybe it does, but I'm going with it anyway. Fashion is something that I have especially enjoyed since I went back-to-school shopping with my mom before my Sophomore year, and she bought me the the waaaay too expensive zebra-print Guess pants from Gadzooks (remember that store? I was my store!). That was the start of it really. There've been times through the years when I've decided I just wasn't going to be "into" clothes and fashion anymore, because it was superficial and wasteful... but the itch always came back. I enjoy putting together outfits and the way certain things can just make you feel gooooood when you put them on. It's just a part of who I am, so here's to embracing it!

And on another note, it's off to the RoughRiders tonight (AAA baseball team in Frisco), the first time we're going to be away from Adelaide at bedtime since discovering she has developed severe separation anxiety at bedtime. We've tried 5 (VERY unsuccessful) times to have someone besides me or Jordan feed her and put her to bed, each time ending with one of us going in to calm her down and finish the routine. After talking to her doctor about it at her 9 month appointment, we've come to the conclusion that we're just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. This time, we'll really be gone and there will be no swooping in to save the day. But, I'm hoping that us not being around might actually make it better for her. Fingers crossed. I'm both dreading it and feeling a little relieved to be getting it over with. It's gotta happen eventually, so we might as well be eating nachos and popcorn while happens, right? 

WORDS TO LIVE BY

Thank you Pinterest for the quote inspiration. I'm telling you, Pinterest has everything. Pinterest and Amazon.

FORK IN THE ROAD

My whole reason for starting this blog was to help me fulfill a resolution to become a more positive person. Like so many New Year's Resolutions across the world, mine was quickly forgotten and back to my old ways I went. I have now decided that I know the root of my problem (as if labeling it does any good): I am idealistic to a fault. I imagine every situation the way one might see it depicted in a movie or TV show. I may say that I know that Stars Hollow isn't a real place and that I don't think I will ever find a town like that to call home, "C'mon Jordan, I know fiction when I see it, duh!"--- but let's just be honest here. Deep down, I do believe it's real and that if I just found it, I would find happiness, my niche, my calling. Seriously though, what am I, 15?

I say all of this to say that I have found myself at a fork in the road. I am all too aware that the direction I choose could have a profound effect on the direction the rest of my life will take. It's possible that my decision won't have that monumental of an impact, but it is equally possible that it will. So, I am feeling a lot of pressure to make the right choice here. To make sure that I don't regret what I choose to do. And based on who I am as a person (unless I manage to change), that is a very real consequence of my decision. 

I am finding it very difficult to analyze each option realistically, rather than imagining each option in it's idealized, silver-outlined, puffy cloud form. I feel like neither option is the obvious choice and neither option is the ideal, life-fulfilling path I wish it were. But is that even a real situation for anyone? I mean really, does anyone ever find themselves making one decision that really has the power to, in one fell swoop, change their entire life for the better? Or am I just imagining a scene from a movie again? 

I have made list, after list, after list of the pros and cons of each option, only to come to the same conclusion: neither option is the obvious choice. Neither option is perfect. So where to go from here? I am 100% on the fence, and can't see a way to jump off on either side. Jordan has a much better outlook on the situation: either way, I'm going to get half of what I wanted. (He seems to be a glass half full kind of a guy, huh?) So now I guess it's just a matter of deciding which half I want more...

LET'S PRETEND

This morning I decided to wander outside in hopes that the rain yesterday had resulted in a cool morning, rather than the more common post-rain muggy morning. Fully expecting the latter, I was very pleasantly surprised when, in fact, it was cool (by Texas standards anyway) and reminiscent of those early fall mornings when the heat finally starts to break and you begin to find hope that summer will eventually end.

We took full advantage, spending an hour swinging, blowing giant bubbles and taking a walk around the neighborhood, only going inside long enough to, me: eat oatmeal, Adelaide: refuse oatmeal. 

By the time we made it home from our walk, it was beginning to warm up, reminding me that fall is not nearly close enough. But it sure was nice to pretend for an hour.

On a totally different note, I'm considering growing out my bangs (for the umpteenth time). Man I hate those days when I look in the mirror and see 1999. 

CHILDHOOD

Yesterday, Adelaide and I tagged along on a trip to the mall for a ride on the carousel. The first ride of her lifetime; the first of many if I have anything to say about it. Adelaide met the ride with her usual "meh." face on, eyes wide, taking it all in. If I had to guess, I'd say that that is going to be a very prominent characteristic in our sweet baby girl. She spends a good bit of her time quietly observing everything going on around her, seeming to take in every detail and store it away.

I know that it is still very early in her life, but creating and documenting these memories has been such a pleasure. Whether she will remember any of it or not (probably not), I love watching her experience new things, from carousel rides to the texture of a squash puree. The opportunity to experience the anticipation of things I'd long forgotten to be excited about, and the pure magic of childhood all over again has been extraordinary, and I look forward to reliving that wonderful time with her each and every day.

GUESS WHO DECIDED TO MAKE FRIENDS

Bowser is finally on board with his sister! Not only does he tolerate her, but they actually kind of play together! It has been so fun to watch over the past several days! Playing with Bowser (heck, just watching Bowser run past) has elicited the most heartfelt laughs from Adelaide to date.

MY FIRST SHOOT!

Justin, Katy and Hadley came over on the Fourth for some lackluster daytime fireworks (we're a couple of stickler mommies when it comes to our babies and their bedtimes!) and they let me drag them out into chigger central for some photos. I'm still trying to figure it all out and I am driving myself crazy by making the same mistakes over and over, but I am starting to figure some things out. At least I can sound like I know what I am talking about, as long as the person I'm talking to doesn't know much either! If nothing else, I'm really enjoying it and I think I have found a new hobby! Here are a few of my favorite shots...

I had a couple shots of Jordan tossing Adelaide around, unfortunately they got deleted before I could even check them out on the computer. I was super bummed about that, but I did get a cute one of Adelaide and Daddy checking out some leaves.

And one more of Adelaide, cause you can't ever have too many, right?

That's it for now. Thanks Justin, Katy and Hadley for being my first non-obligated models!